A guard in a Russian jail goes to the library and sees an old Jewish political prisoner reading a book.
"What are you reading, old man?" asks the guard.
"I'm learning Hebrew," says the old man.
"Why bother?" asks the guard. "You'll never get to Israel. You'll die here."
"I'm learning Hebrew so that when I go to heaven, I can speak with Moses and Abraham," replies the old man.
"How do you know you're going to heaven? What if you go to hell?" asks the guard.
The old man says, "No problem. I already speak Russian."