Soviet KGB

USSR: Call to KGB

Hello. Is this KGB’s anonymous tip line?

Yes, Mr. Petrov. What can we do for you?

KGB Office

A man visited his local KGB office to report his missing pet parrot.

The KGB officer sympathized but noted it was likely a matter for the regular police.

The man agreed, adding:

"I’ll go to them next. I just wanted to tell the KGB that I completely disagree with the parrot’s political views."

Soviet Party

  • In America, you can always find a party.
  • In the Soviet Union, the Party can always find you.

USSR Propaganda

Two diplomats—one from the USSR, one from the USA—met in a hallway.

American:

"Wow, Soviet propaganda really is powerful."

Soviet:

"It’s true. But it’s nothing compared to American propaganda!"

American (puzzled):

"...Huh? What American propaganda?"