Two junior developers are caught shipping broken code to production. The CTO gives them a deal:
"You two clearly aren't completely hopeless. I'll give you 24 hours — go convince as many people as possible to write proper unit tests. Come back tomorrow with your numbers."
The next day, the first dev says, "Sir, I convinced 12 people! I showed them two charts: one showing a codebase with tests — stable, clean, green pipelines. And one without — red builds, 3am incident calls, hotfixes on Christmas."
The CTO nods. "Not bad. And you?"
The second dev grins. "I convinced 134 people, sir."
The CTO's jaw drops. "134?! Same approach?"
"Sort of. I pointed to the chart without tests and said:"
"Gentlemen... this is what your Glassdoor review looks like after you push this to prod on a Friday."
Two drug dealers are given a chance by a judge to avoid prison...
The judge tells them, "You guys don't look like hardened criminals. I'll give you a deal: I’m releasing you for 24 hours. Your job is to go out and convince as many people as possible to quit using drugs. If you’re successful, I’ll drop the charges. Come back tomorrow and report your numbers." The next day, the first guy says, "Your Honor, I got 14 people to quit! I drew two circles: a big one and a tiny one. I told them the big one was their brain before drugs, and the tiny one was their brain after drugs." The judge is impressed. He turns to the second guy. "And you?" "I got 165 people to quit, sir!" The judge is stunned. "165?! Did you use the same 'brain' circles?" "Sort of," the guy says. "I pointed to the tiny circle and said, 'Listen up, boys... this is what your asshole looks like before you go to prison.'"
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