Paddy had a reputation for playing around with other people's wives.
Paddy, who had a reputation for playing around with other people’s wives, went to his friend Mick and said, “I’m sleeping with Jack’s wife. Can you keep him busy in church for an hour after mass?”
Mick wasn’t thrilled, but being a loyal friend, he agreed.
After mass, Mick started chatting with Jack, asking the most random, pointless questions just to stall him.
Eventually, Jack got annoyed and said, “Alright, Mick, what’s going on?”
Feeling guilty, Mick blurted out, “Paddy’s with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied.”
Jack smiled, put a hand on Mick’s shoulder, and said,
“You’d better hurry home, mate… My wife died a year ago.”
Explanation: Paddy is definitely a sly one!
The phone rang at the motor pool, and an authoritative voice demanded to know how many vehicles were operational.
Paddy answered, "We have twelve trucks, ten utilities, three staff cars**,** and that Bentley the fat-arsed colonel parades around in."
There was a stony silence for a second or two.
“Do you know who you are speaking to?”
“No,” said Paddy.
“It is the so-called fat-arsed colonel you so insubordinately referred to.”
“Well, do you know who you are talking to?” asked Paddy.
“No,” roared the colonel.
“Well, thank goodness for that,” said Paddy**,** and hung up the phone.