A man walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he’s drinking, the monkey jumps around the place. The monkey grabs some olives from the bar and eats them. Then he grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Next, he jumps onto the pool table and snatches one of the billiard balls. To everyone’s amazement, he puts it in his mouth and somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender yells at the man, “Did you see what your monkey just did?”
“No, what?”
“He just ate the cue ball off my pool table—whole!”
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” the man replies. “He eats everything in sight. Sorry! I’ll pay for the cue ball and the other stuff.”
The man finishes his drink, pays his bill, covers the cost of what the monkey ate, and leaves.
Two weeks later, the man is back in the bar with his monkey. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey spots a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
Then he finds a peanut, does the same thing—sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. “Did you see what your monkey just did?”
“No, what?” the man replies.
“He stuck both a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled them out, and ate them!” says the bartender.
“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me,” the man replies. “He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first now.”
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