Toward the end of August 1984, my six-month leave of absence was drawing to a close, and I still hadn't decided whether to return to Apple. Despite my deep connection to the company, turning in my badge wasn't an easy decision—yet I didn't see a reasonable alternative.
Commitment to the Macintosh
I was certain I would continue writing software for the Macintosh, a platform brimming with innovation opportunities. I believed I could earn more independently than at Apple, even with stock options. But money wasn't my primary concern.
Impact and Influence
My main issue was wanting to influence the Mac's evolution. No matter what I did independently, it would only have a fraction of the impact possible working at Apple. The Mac's long-term success remained uncertain, heavily dependent on Apple's strategic moves.
Insights from the Inside
Many of my close friends were still on the Mac team, so I regularly visited Cupertino, often hanging out in the Bandley 3 fishbowl. Living next to Mac hardware designer Burrell Smith, I heard daily about his work challenges. Unfortunately, the news was discouraging.
Team Dynamics and Challenges
The Mac and Lisa teams had merged in February 1984, creating a large division. Steve Jobs claimed this would transform Apple to be more like the Mac team, but the opposite seemed true. The original Mac team's idealism had vanished, replaced by bureaucracy and turf wars.
Post-Ship Slump
The core software group was recovering from the intense effort to ship and had been inactive, suffering from post-partum depression. The LaserWriter printer and AppleTalk network were current focuses, leaving the core software team with little involvement. Without a compelling new goal, the team drifted.
Burrell's Frustrations
Burrell Smith had completed the LaserWriter digital board and was working on the "Turbo Macintosh," featuring 4-bit/pixel gray scale graphics and a fast DMA channel for an internal hard drive. But he frequently clashed with engineering manager Bob Belleville over trivial decisions. Burrell believed Bob favored a Xerox-style "file server" over the hard drive, trying to kill the Turbo project. Burrell was "asymptotically approaching liberation" from Apple.
Bud Tribble's Return
Bud Tribble completed his M.D./Ph.D. program and chose to return to Apple as Macintosh software manager, working for Bob Belleville. In July 1984, he moved into a spare bedroom at Burrell's house, next to mine. I respected Bud highly and valued his insights.
Rebuilding the Vision
While I had mixed feelings about returning to the Mac division, Bud was a link to the good old days. I hoped we could create an outpost preserving original Mac values. But this seemed impossible if Bud worked for Bob Belleville, my nemesis. The solution? For Bud to work directly for Steve Jobs. Bud agreed, but only Steve could make it happen. I arranged a dinner with Steve and Bud to discuss my return.
A Divergent Dinner
We met at Bandley 3 and walked to an Italian restaurant. Steve seemed preoccupied, and I was nervous about implicitly criticizing him. After ordering, I began:
"As you know, I care about Apple and want to return. I'd love to work for Bud again, but things seem messed up. The software team is demoralized, Burrell is frustrated..."
Steve interrupted with a withering stare. "You don't know what you're talking about! Things are better than ever. You're out of touch."
I looked to Bud, who shrugged apologetically. Steve added, "The Mac team had to grow up, and so do you. I want you back, but you don't matter as much as you think."
Seeing our irreconcilable differences, we finished dinner quickly and walked back in silence.
Final Decision
Quitting was easier than expected. I called HR to inform them I wouldn't return—no paperwork or badge surrender needed. I still have my badge today. Though resigning felt devastating, I felt relief and optimism about writing Mac software independently.
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