Here's a polished version:
A frontend dev becomes convinced that JavaScript should replace PHP everywhere, after years of peaceful coexistence in the backend world.
Realizing this is controversial, they whisper a prayer to Tim Berners-Lee:
"Sir Tim, I know advocating for 'JavaScript everywhere' is a bit extreme, but honestly? The idea of one language for everything gives my career meaning. Please... don't let the PHP community roast me on Twitter."
A voice echoes from above:
"Fine. But here's the deal: ten years from now, you'll be publicly humiliated at a major tech conference."
The dev hesitates, then shrugs:
"If it means I can finally write my backend in the same language as my frontend... deal."
The following decade is incredible.
The dev lands amazing jobs, launches successful startups, writes everything in Node, Deno, and Bun, builds CLIs in TypeScript, and genuinely forgets about that old conversation.
One day, they excitedly book a ticket to Next.js Conf.
Midway through the conference, during a live coding demo on stage, a catastrophic useEffect infinite loop brings down the entire application.
The screen freezes. The repo's CI/CD pipeline catches fire. Tech Twitter erupts.
Suddenly remembering the decade-old agreement, the dev frantically prays:
"Sir Tim! You wouldn't let an entire conference full of innocent developers get humiliated just because of me... right?"
The voice returns, now with a hint of satisfaction:
"Are you kidding? I've been spending ten years getting all you 'JavaScript can do everything' people into one room."
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