A greedy old businessman was dying, so he called his priest, his lawyer, and his accountant to his bedside.
“They say you can’t take it with you, but I’m certainly going to try,” wheezed the businessman. “When I die, I want each of you to take one-third of my money and throw it into my grave as they bury me!” The three started to protest, but the businessman insisted, “It’s my money, and I’ll do what I want with it!” The three reluctantly agreed.
A few days later, the man died. At his funeral, the priest, the lawyer, and the accountant did as directed and each threw a bag of money into the grave as the coffin was being lowered.
After the funeral, they began talking as they walked back to their cars. “I have a confession to make,” said the priest. “When I thought of all the poor people who could be helped by that man’s money, I decided to take a portion and donate it to the orphanage.”
“Since we’re confessing,” said the lawyer, “I needed an oceanside vacation home, so I, too, took a handful of that geezer’s cash as a down payment.”
“Gentlemen, I’m ashamed of both of you,” replied the accountant. “I want you to know I threw in a check for the full amount!”
Explanation: It's the first time the lawyer isn't the worst person in the joke (sort of).