Granddad's Funny Jokes

A Classic Granddad Joke

A man goes to the doctor and says, “I’ve got this awful headache, a bad cough, and my nose is running like crazy!”

The doctor says, “Okay, can you go over to that window and stick your tongue out for me, please?”

The man says, “I mean, yeah… but what good will that do?”

The doctor says, “I don’t like the man who lives over there.”

Good News or Bad News?

Doctor to patient: "I have good news and bad news. Which one do you want to hear first?"

Patient: "The bad news."

Doctor: "You've got stage 4 lung cancer."

Patient: "And what's the good news?"

Doctor: "See that hot blonde nurse with the great tits over there? I'm banging her."

The Double Whammy Diagnosis

Dr: "The patient I have bad news and worse news."

Patient: "What’s the bad news?"

Dr: "You have AIDS."

Patient: "Oh my God, what’s the worst news?"

Dr: "You have Alzheimer’s."

Patient: "Well, at least I don’t have AIDS."


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Last edited on .

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