Diamond Mine Fiasco

Billy Bob and Earl, two buddies from Alabama, take wildly different paths after high school graduation. While Billy Bob stays behind to pump gas, Earl heads to South Africa to chase his fortune.

The Shocking Return

Three years later, Earl rolls back into town in a brand-new lifted truck. Billy Bob can barely believe his eyes.

"Earl, how the hell did you get rich so fast?"

Earl leans in with a sly grin. "It was the diamond mines, Billy. I’d find a diamond, swallow it, fly home, wait for nature to call, wash it off, and cash it in."

A Risky Imitation

Billy Bob’s eyes go wide. The next day, he vanishes.

When Opportunity Backfires

Another year passes. Earl is relaxing on his porch when the ground begins to tremble. Black Hawk helicopters swarm the highway, escorting a massive military convoy—tanks, hazmat teams, and armored transports.

As one vehicle rumbles past, Earl spots Billy Bob chained inside.

He sprints after it. "Billy Bob! What happened?!"

Through thick glass, Billy Bob screams back: "I tried your trick, Earl! But I got a job at a uranium mine! I swallowed a chunk, let out a fart, and leveled three city blocks! Now the government is hauling me out to the Nevada Test Site just to take a dump!


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Last edited on .

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